This has to stop. I cant allow myself this madness. I cant subject myself to this. All I want is the courage to hold that sharp knife to my wrist and slice it deep.
I just want to detach myself from the rest of the world for a long time. I need to peace out and leave everything, material and person far far away from me. I hate the way I have been living. I wish I were a slate that can be wiped clean. I wish I could tear my face apart into tiny pieces and throw it out into the wind. I want to dig my fingernails into my skin and scream in agony of that pain. I want that pain to leave me. Please go away.
I want to rip open my back and let the pain ooze out into the hot desert sand. I want to scream and scream until there is no voice left in me. I want to butcher my brains and pour liqour on it for it deserves nothing better. I want to stamp out the breath from my self conscience for being such a weak link to sanity.
I need a release now. or a pistol. Either would do.
Please stop the pain.
